It's not the same
by EmmaShalforever
Summary: Marissa still loves Alex and doesn't cope too well after her departure. Will someone come to the rescue?
1. Chapter 1

Set about a month or so after Blaze of Glory.

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_Outside school, lunch._

"Hello girlfriend" Seth said as he sat down beside Summer and put his arm around her shoulders, pecking her on the cheek.

"Cohen, I'm really worried about Marissa."

"Okay, straight to business, no pleasure."

"Cohen, I'm serious okay and I need you to be serious and act more maturely for five minutes."

"Okay, just hold on and I'll set the timer on my watch."

Summer hit him on the arm. "Stop being a jerk."

"Okay, but seriously, why are you worried? I haven't noticed any bad signs when it comes to Marissa, but I have noticed an improvement in Ryan. Do you think there's anything going on between them because that would be so awesome."

"Shut it, Cohen. Ryan might be happier, but Marissa is not okay? She doesn't look happy and she never smiles anymore."

"Sure she does, I see her smile all the time."

"Yes, but those are fake smiles. I know her and she is not okay. She hasn't been okay since Alex disappeared. And you probably haven't noticed it, but when she was with Alex she didn't drink much and now she drinks even more than she did before."

"You're right, I haven't noticed that…Are you sure?"

"I'm supposed to be her best friend, remember?"

"So you're sure there's nothing going on between Ryan and Marissa?"

"Yes."

"What a shame."

"There's just no use in trying to talk to you. I'll call you later, moron."

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There was a knock on Marissa's door and she hurried to put the bottle she held into one of her drawers.

"Who is it?"

"It's Summer."

"Oh, come in."

Summer walked in and gave Marissa a hug. She smelled the alcohol.

"Have you been drinking again?"

"It was just a little swig, you know to keep me through the day."

"Coop, the day is almost over and you didn't come to school, which you said you would."

"I know, I didn't feel well."

"No, you haven't for the past weeks. So what's the matter? Is it the I-miss-Alex virus?"

"What? No, I'm totally over her. I mean, what could a girl possibly see in another girl right?"

Summer raised her eyebrow.

Marissa looked away and out of the window. She sat still for a moment before she started whispering.

"She was perfect. Her body, her smile, her eyes…I could stare at those eyes for hours."

Tears started running down Marissa's chin.

"Aww, Coop. I'm so sorry." Summer embraced her best friend and held her tightly.

"I know that you're hurting right now, but I think it would be good for you to get out a little. We can hang out at the Cohen's?"

"God no, Ryan will be there."

"That bad between you huh?"

"I just feel like he thinks I'll go back to him now that Alex is gone, but I don't feel comfortable around him anymore."

"Have you ever really felt comfortable around him?"

Marissa gave Summer a questioning look. "You know you're talking dirty about someone who's supposed to be your friend right?"

"Nah, you were my friend first and I've always said to Cohen that you and Ryan are great with each other as long as you're not actually a couple."

"Interesting." Marissa said uninterested.

"But I've got the perfect idea. Let's go to the mall and burn some cash. I know you haven't done that for a while."

"I don't know Summer."

"Yes, you do. Get up and take a shower so we can go shopping."

"No."

"Right now, young lady, or I'll go rage blackout on you."

"Okay, I'm going."

As soon as Marissa left the room Summer started searching for Marissa's cell. When she found it, she looked for Alex' number and smiled when she found it. Quickly she stored the number on her own cell and put Marissa's phone back where she found it.

Thirty minutes later the two girls were ready to go to the mall and for the first time Summer was almost looking forward to get done with the shopping so she could go home and make the phone call she knew she had to take for Marissa's sake, almost. She figured some good old shopping was a little more rush than what she had to do later, since it had been too long since she went shopping with Marissa.

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Four hours later Summer entered her house and went straight to her room. She sat down on the bed with her cell-phone and looked at it for a minute, trying to make up her mind, before she found Alex' number and dialled.

She sighed when she got the voice-mail.

"Hey Alex this is Summer…Marissa's friend. I don't know how you're doing, but Marissa is not doing very well right now. She has been sad and unhappy since you left and she's been drinking a lot. I don't know why I'm telling you this really, because for all I know you're over her and all, but if you're not I just wanted you to know that Marissa really likes you and that she regret what she did, even though she won't tell anyone that and pretends everything is fine. I guess that's what I wanted to say…Bye."

As she hung up, she sighed again.

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_LA_

Alex walked out of the bathroom and picked up her cell. She saw that it was turned of and silently cursed. _My mom will probably have a heart attack if she has called and I haven't answered. _She hurried to turn the phone on and noticed she had gotten one message and several voice-mails.

She decided to check the message first and saw that it was from Jodie. She sighed. Jodie was bugging her all the time. Obviously she was thinking that Alex moved back from Newport because she wasn't over Jodie and she didn't want to explain the real reason, so she just tried to stay away from Jodie as much as possible.

She didn't feel like answering the message right now, so she went to the voice-mails instead.

There were four new messages, the first two of her mother telling here to pick up the phone and get her ass home so they could talk. The third was from Jodie who rambled on about how much she missed Alex and how they were always meant to go back together. Then she got to the last message.

"Hey Alex this is Summer…" Alex froze as soon as she heard Summer's voice and for a second she stopped breathing. Why was Summer calling her? Oh God, had something happened to Marissa? When she shook herself out of her trance, she realized she had missed the message and played it again.

"Hey Alex this is Summer…Marissa's friend. I don't know how you're doing, but Marissa is not doing very well right now. She has been sad and unhappy since you left and she's been drinking a lot. I don't know why I'm telling you this really, because for all I know you're over her and all, but if you're not I just wanted you to know that Marissa really likes you and that she regret what she did, even though she won't tell anyone that and pretends everything is fine. I guess that's what I wanted to say…Bye."

Shit, shit, shit, she thought. Okay, relax. You're totally over her and she's not your responsibility anymore…Oh no, I have to help. Marissa shouldn't be drinking and she shouldn't be unhappy. I have to…NO, she dumped you remember? But Summer said that Marissa regretted it so maybe, just maybe there's still a chance. No point in trying to fool yourself Alex, you know you still love her. Fuck, I'm talking to myself…Just get your ass over to Newport and see what's going on. But first, visit your mom, tell her you'll be gone a few days. She's probably gonna freak out. Whatever, it's not like I care more about her opinions than I care about Marissa. Get your ass moving.

She threw on some clothes, grabbed her phone and keys, and rushed out of her apartment.

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Marissa lay in her bed, brooding when her mother walked in.

"Ever heard of privacy and knocking?"

"Marissa, you need to get out of that bed and get out again."

"I was just out shopping with Summer so leave me alone."

"You have to stop this you know. Get back with Ryan or something, even that was better than how you are now."

Marissa felt the growing anger and stared at her mother with disbelief as she sat up. When she spoke she had raised her voice.

"I don't believe this. I don't want to be with Ryan and I don't want to go out. Just leave me alone."

"Honey, I'm just saying that there's no point in grieving over a girl and certainly not try to drink yourself to death over one."

"Don't you dare talk about Alex like that. She made me happy and at least she cared about me, which is more than I can say about you. Now get out of my room before I do something I regret."

Julie sighed and gave her daughter one last defeated look before walking away.

Marissa let herself fall back onto the pillows and felt tears starting to run down her cheeks.

She hated everyone, her mother who didn't think about others than herself, Ryan who was a dumb jerk, everyone at school who expected her to be perfect…She just wanted to disappear back into the safe embrace of Alex where she could relax and be herself and be loved for who she was, not who she was expected to be.

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As Alex stood outside her parents' house she tried to mentally prepare herself for what was to come. When she rang the bell and the door opened she put on the best fake smile she had.

"Alexandra, sweetheart, Come her and give you mother a big hug."

"Hey mom, it's good to see you." She said with fake excitement.

She was dragged inside and into the living room where her father sat, reading the paper.

"Hi dad."

"Hello Alex."

"See that mom, you should call me Alex too instead of using so much extra energy on my whole stupid, embarrassing name."

"Now, now Alexandra, watch your tongue." Her mother answered back.

"So honey, sit down."

Alex did as she was told.

"Sweetie, why can't you just move back in here with us instead of living in that cheap apartment?"

"Because I would go insane by your non stop talking?"

Her mother ignored her.

"You're not seeing Jodie are you? Gosh, that girl is such a tramp."

"No mom, Jodie and I are over."

"Good, I knew you would come to your senses someday. Is there any interesting boys around?"

"No, no boys. You know I'm still sad about Newport and that girl."

"See honey, that's why boys are better. Girls just break your heart and move on."

"Well, mom," Alex said through gritted teeth. "At least girls don't just think with one head and they don't just think about themselves in a relationship."

"Ahem." Both women turned to Alex' father who had put the paper away.

"So Alex, what's new in your life? I haven't talked to you for a few days."

"Actually dad, I have to go on a trip for a few days…to Newport."

"And why is that?" Her mother said sternly.

"Because a good friend has some problems and I need to make sure everything's okay?"

"No, that is not gonna-"

"Sure sweetie, you go and make sure he or she is okay. Do you have a place to stay?"

"Not really."

"Ha. See, then it's best to stay-"

"I will give you some money for a motel or something."

"Thanks dad. I really appreciate it."

"When do you leave?"

"I have free from work tomorrow so I was thinking about leaving in the morning and them be back after the weekend, Sunday evening or something."

"Richard, don't encourage her." Alex' mother said in despair.

"You need to stop being so controlling dear. Come with me Alex and I'll get you some money. You should probably get ready to leave tomorrow."

Alex followed her had and got some money.

"Thanks dad, you're the best."

"Anything for my daughter. She's really trying you know. It's just how your mother are, but deep down she really loves you no matter what."

"Yeah, that love is defiantly hidden well."

"Keep in touch so your mother doesn't get a heart attack please."

"Yes sir." Alex answered and saluted him before quickly making her way out of the house.

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	2. Chapter 2

AN: This probably sucks, but I wrote it in a hurry so it was the best I could do at the moment.

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"Good morning sunshine," Summer greeted loudly at Marissa as she quickly walked into her best friend's room.

"I'm not going," Marissa grunted sleepily.

"Oh yes, you are."

"I'm sick."

"Heartache is not an illness, it's purely psychological, so chop chop." Summer said happily.

"Why are you so happy?" Marissa asked as she slowly opened her eyes to see her friend standing beside her bed.

"Because you are going with me to school that's why."

"Right. Sorry to ruin your happy mood, but I'm not going." Marissa turned over so she had her back against Summer.

"Marissa Cooper, if you don't get out of that bed right now, I'll have to do something drastic."

"Like what?" Marissa challenged.

"Like, going rage blackout or find some cold water to pour on you. Get up."

"Fine, you win. I just don't see the point."

"Try to lighten up, I promise it will be a good day."

"Okay, what are you hiding? Do you know something I don't?" Marissa said with raised eye brows.

"No, you know you're my bestest friend Coop and I love you."

"Aha." Marissa said, knowing something was up, but also knowing she probably wouldn't get the girl to talk.

"Well…"

"Well what?"

"Shouldn't you say something to me?"

"Oh, I love you too Sum."

"Good. Now get ready, we're leaving in fifteen."

Marissa sighed as Summer left her room.

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Alex drove by the welcome sign that told her she was back in Newport, and she felt nervous. What had she been thinking? Marissa probably didn't want to see her. What if she showed up and made a total ass of herself?

She contemplated turning around to go back home, but remembered the conversation she had with Summer last night. Summer had even offered her to stay at her place instead of a motel, but she hadn't decided yet. If Marissa wanted nothing to do with her, she certainly didn't want to stay at her best friend's house. She was driving towards Harbour High. Summer had told her she would force Marissa to go so all Alex had to do was show up. Right, easy for Summer to say when she wasn't head over heels in love with a girl that broke up with you for an ass.

And why did Marissa let her go if she cared so much about her? God, all the questions were killing her. She was relieved when she saw the school coming up, but also felt like her nerves were going to explode any second. Maybe she should just turn around now, before it was too late? Shit, pull yourself together Alex.

She parked her car and sat still. It should be lunch any second now and Summer would make sure Marissa went outside to eat their lunch. She slowly got out of the car and was about to start walking when she saw her. Immediately Alex froze and had to lean at her car door for support. She was still as beautiful as ever, nothing had changed, she looked exactly the same. She couldn't pull her eyes away from the mesmerizing brunette who was oblivious to her presence.

Summer however had noticed her almost immediately and stopped, making Marissa, Seth and Ryan stop too.

"What's wrong?" Marissa said, concerned.

"Hey guys, look over there," Summer said pointing at the opposite direction of Alex and everyone turned. Summer quickly turned Marissa's head towards the car where Alex stood.

As soon as Marissa saw her, she froze. She couldn't believe she was here, at her school, looking directly at her.

Seth and Ryan turned confused to Summer who tried to drag them away, but both boys noticed Marissa wasn't moving and was staring at something so they broke away to take a look.

Both boys stood there in shock. Seth was confused and so was Ryan, but he soon felt he's anger rise at the blonde woman standing there, staring at Marissa.

Marissa was the first one to react and slowly started moving towards Alex.

This shook Ryan out of his daze as he grabbed her arm to get her attention.

"Shouldn't we be eating lunch?" He said with forced kindness.

"I just have to talk to her," Marissa answered as she shook Ryan's arm of her and started walking faster.

Ryan was about to move after her, but was stopped by Summer stepping in front of him.

"They need some time alone. Let's go." She said firmly.

Ryan shot one last glare at Alex before reluctantly turning away. He tried to act cool, but on the inside he was furious. How dare she show up here? And now when things were starting to go better with Marissa?

Marissa never stopped walking as she got closer to the blonde. Instead she practically threw herself into her arms, hugging her tightly afraid she might disappear.

Alex hugged back equally as tight, closing her eyes at the familiar contact she had missed for so long.

Marissa was the first one to pull away.

"You're really here," she said in disbelief.

"I am."

"Why?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing, if you were okay. You know you mean a lot to me Marissa."

"You have no idea how much I've missed you," the brunette said with tears in her eyes.

"You have?" Alex asked with happiness in her voice.

"It's just not the same without you. I wish you never left."

"I'm here now."

"So you're staying?"

"Well, it's not really decided yet. It depends on if you want me here or not. I don't want to complicate things for you."

"I would love it if you stayed here."

Both looked into each others eyes, momentarily lost in them.

"So…you wanna get out of here, get something to eat and talk. You look like you could need it. You look skinnier than last time I saw you," Alex said half joking. It was true though, she thought. Marissa didn't look like she had eaten much for a while.

"I've always been skinny, Alex." Marissa said seriously.

"No, you were always perfect. Don't believe anything else."

Marissa giggled. "You always knew how to make me feel good and appreciated."

"It's a gift. Get in the car and we'll drive somewhere."

Marissa smiled brightly at her before walking to the passenger seat.

From afar, three pair of eyes had witnessed the scene. Seth totally bewildered and clueless as to what was going on, Summer with a smile because she saw how happy Marissa was and she had smiled a real smile for the first time in ages, and Ryan with pure hatred for the blonde girl who was once again entering his turf.

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	3. Chapter 3

_A diner_

"So what's happened in your life since you moved back to LA? Marissa asked curious as she ate some fries.

"Not much. I refused to move back in with my parents so they got me an apartment and I went back to school for, I think five days before I decided I couldn't take it and I got a job instead. I was pretty much working all the time, didn't want to face the world I guess. My mom kept bugging me all the time." She purposefully left out the part about her endless grieving over Marissa. "What about you? Back with Ryan huh?" she said, trying to sound happy.

"Not anymore. I just couldn't take it."

"So you two got together and now you're broken up?"

"Well, it's not official, but it doesn't feel right with him. It actually never did when we got back together. He just can't take the signs that I want to be left alone I guess."

"Sounds like a jerk to me." Alex replied a little happier than intended.

"Yeah, but you've always said that right?"

"Guess Ryan and I never really got along."

"Maybe it's because you're both alike?"

"I am nothing like Ryan," Alex said offended.

"I mean, you both have kind of a temper." Marissa said, realizing she had offended Alex with her comment.

"I guess," Alex said as she calmed down. "But I've never been the jealous type before you. I just really liked you, you know?" she said softly, looking into the brunettes eyes.

Marissa felt her heart leap at Alex' confession, but at the same time she got sad because she noticed the past tense. Maybe she's over me? Marissa thought sadly.

"Hey are you okay?" Alex asked worried when she saw the sadness in Marissa's eyes.

"Yeah, I was just thinking. I should probably get back to school since I've been gone for so long, but do you have a place to stay? Maybe we could hang out later?"

"Yeah, I've got a place and I'd love to meet you later."

"Good. The gang is meeting at The Bait Shop tonight. You should come. Eight."

"Sure. I'll drive you back." Alex answered.

On the drive back Marissa filled the blonde in on what had happened in Newport since she was gone.

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As soon as Alex had made sure Marissa was back at school, she called her dad.

"Who is it?" he asked suspiciously.

"It's Alex dad, and you need to answer your phone properly."

"Sweetheart, are you okay?" The man's voice immediately changed to happy.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Look dad…I need to stay here."

"Okay, for how long?"

"I don't know. I think I'll move back here."

"Are you sure about this Alex?" Her father said worried. "I thought you said Newport wasn't where you belonged?"

"It's not. It's just…Marissa is." She sighed loudly into the phone.

"I see. Well, I'll check if I can find a place for you to stay, but you must promise that you won't tell your mother all of this. You need to find another excuse to why you are staying."

"I promise dad. Thanks, I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart. I just want my girl to be happy. I'll call you later."

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Marissa was just in time for fourth period, which she had with Summer. Summer had of course held a seat for her in the back in case she decided to show up.

"Someone, look happy," the tiny brunette said excited as Marissa sat down with a smile. "I take it your conversation with Alex went well?"

"Yeah. We're still on for tonight right? The Bait Shop at Eight?"

"Of course."

Marissa decided not to tell her that Alex would be joining the group too. It could be a surprise."

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_In another classroom_

"So why do you think Alex is back?" Ryan said casually.

"I don't know. Maybe she's after Marissa," Seth joked, laughing to himself, but soon realized Ryan didn't think it was funny at all.

"Come on man. Maybe she just wants to make sure Marissa's fine so they can both move on?" Seth thought about it and the more he thought, the more worrying it looked.

"Or maybe she wants Marissa back," he said in a whisper.

Ryan's jaw clenched tightly, his hate towards the blonde appearing again. He knew he had to talk to Marissa and was happy the gang was gonna hang out tonight.

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_06.15 PM_

Marissa took her car the short way to Summer's house and rang the bell excitedly. For the first time since Alex left she was anxious to go out and she wanted to come to Summer early so they could talk.

"You're unbelievable. No wonder you live by yourself," she heard Summer yell at someone before the tiny brunette opened the door. Summer's expression was shocked when she saw who was standing in her doorway.

"Coop, you're here? Not drunk…and on your own. I thought I would have to drag you from home or something." Summer said acting like she didn't know why Marissa was so excited.

"Who were you yelling to?" Marissa said confused. "Do you have a guest?"

"Um, yeah, I do."

"Hey Summer, where are the towels?" Alex yelled from upstairs and Summer froze, knowing she was totally busted.

"Is that Alex?" Marissa questioned, even more confused.

"Yeah, well, you see…" Summer didn't know how to explain everything to Marissa.

"Wait a second. If she's staying here then that means…" Marissa felt her anger grow, not to mention her embarrassment because this meant Alex knew what state she was in.

"How could you Sum."

"I was trying to help you Coop. You needed help and I'm you're best friend so I did what I thought was right."

"And went behind my back?" Marissa said in disbelief.

"Hey Summer, what's going on, I asked you-"Alex stopped when she saw an angry looking Marissa.

"I can't believe this," Marissa said as she turned around and started to walk away. Immediately Alex ran after her.

"Whoa, wait up." She reached for Marissa's arm and turned her around. She saw that Marissa was at the verge of tears. "Are you okay? What's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Marissa answered back loudly. "Why are you here Alex? Because Summer called you and said I was depressed and drunk, is that it?"

"No, because-"

"What, because you're pitying me? Because you feel sorry for me?" Marissa was screaming at her.

"Because I love you dammit," Alex screamed back. Marissa's jaw slightly fell in shock.

"W-what," she managed to get out.

"Because I love you." Alex voice was soft now. "That's why I moved, to let you be with Ryan, I wanted you to be happy…because I love you." Alex couldn't believe how relieved she felt when she finally said it to Marissa. It felt good, but at the same time she knew Marissa could make her regret ever letting it out with simply two words.

Marissa didn't know what to say. She was so happy Alex had said it, but at the same time scared. All she could do was take the vulnerable blonde into her arms and hug her like there was no tomorrow.

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AN: The two words: "I don't."


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm sorry," Alex said, still hugging Marissa.

"I'm sorry too."

They pulled away from each other.

"Still want me to stay?" the blonde asked nervously.

"More than ever."

"Really?"

"Of course Alex, I really like you."

"But you don't love me?" Alex said trying to not sound disappointed.

"I do, I just can't say it right now."

"Why not? She asked confused.

"It's complicated."

Alex raised her eye brow, but decided to let it go for now.

"So what happens now?" she asked instead.

"I don't know. I guess we're just gonna have to wait and see." Alex nodded in agreement.

"I think you should talk to Summer. She thought she was doing the right thing you know."

"I know, and she was right…So you're staying with Summer?"

"Only for a couple of days until my dad can find me my own place."

"Seems like a cool dad to have."

"Yeah, he's gotten over the whole "into girls" thing and want what's best for me. He's a nice guy. Don't get me started on my mother though. She kinda reminds me of your mother." Both Alex and Marissa shuddered at the thought.

"So you should talk to Summer and I should get ready for the night. You coming inside?"

"Yeah." Marissa linked her arm with Alex as they walked back.

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Marissa knocked on Summer's door before walking inside. Summer was lying on her bed with Princess Sparkle.

"I'm so sorry Marissa, please don't hate me I-" she was cut of by Marissa hugging her.

"Okay, not the reaction I had expected after our last encounter, but I'll take it."

"Thank you."

"Aww, Coop. You know I would do anything for you."

She pulled away to a smiling Marissa.

"So…details," the tiny brunette said excitedly.

"She said she loves me."

"She did? Wow, that's huge."

"I know and I wanted to tell her that I love her too."

"But…"

"I just need to talk to her about everything that has happened with me since she left. If she still wants me after that…"

"If she loves you like she says she does, it won't matter. Just tell her everything, I'm sure she'll understand."

"I know. A relationship has to be built on trust and that means no more lying. I don't want to mess up again."

"Good thinking. Let's get ready for the night shall we?"

"Oh, by the way, Alex is coming with us to The Bait Shop."

"Great. Ryan's gonna be mad though," Summer said and then started whispering. "I don't think Ryan likes Alex."

"Don't worry Sum, Alex can't stand Ryan either, but I want to spend time with her so they're both gonna have to deal with it."

"I'll give Alex credit for bringing out the spirit in you." They both laughed.

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_The Bait Shop_

Summer, Alex and Marissa walked into the club fifteen minutes too late, fashionably late, and looked over the crowd to see if they could find Seth and Ryan.

They saw them at their usual spot and headed in their direction.

Ryan had been waiting for Marissa to arrive and saw the women as soon as they walked in. His face fell when he saw who was following though.

"What the hell is she doing here?" He said angry.

"Who?" Seth said eagerly.

"Alex."

"Oh."

"Hey guys," Marissa said as Summer moved to sit next to Seth and Ryan. Marissa sat down on the other side followed by Alex.

"Ryan," Alex said sternly.

"Alex," he spat back.

Everyone looked at the two who was in a staring contest.

Seth cleared his throat. "Okay, who wants anything to drink?"

"Great, Alex and I will follow you," Summer said, quickly getting up.

"We will?" Alex asked, finally looking away from Ryan.

"Yes, move it." She pulled the blonde with her.

Marissa turned to Ryan awkwardly.

Ryan took a deep breath to calm himself.

"So why is Alex back in town?"

"She wanted to see how I was doing," Marissa said warily.

"Really," Ryan said unconvinced. "Hey look, I want to apologize if I've been acting strange, but I was wondering if we could have some alone time? To talk about what's going on?"

"I don't know Ryan. I need some time alone right now."

"But only away from me right, not Alex?" He felt his anger starting to rise again.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means, that the moment you see her you just run into her arms and forget all about us."

"Ryan there is no us, not anymore."

"So we have this thing going on and the second Alex shows up you decide to pretend there's nothing between us?"

"In case you haven't noticed Ryan, I've been avoiding you for a longer time than since Alex showed up."

"Why won't you talk to me? Can't you see Alex is only causing troubles and confusion?"

Marissa was getting sick of everyone complaining about Alex, telling her that she made her life miserable when she was the only one that made sense.

"She makes me happy Ryan and I love her." She spat before she had time to think about what she was saying.

"You know what? I'm tired of your games. You are just plain pathetic and I'm not gonna let you drag me down anymore."

Alex had of course stood nearby and heard all of the conversation and had had enough.

"Why don't you just leave her alone?" Alex said angrily stepping closer to Ryan who shot up and stared at her equally as angry.

"Why don't you just mind your own business and stay the fuck away?"

"Marissa is my business so why don't you just walk out of here, jerk."

"What did you say?" He screamed at her.

"I called you a jerk. What are you gonna do about it? Hit me? Are going to start hitting girls now? Marissa is not the pathetic one, you are."

Seth came running and pushed Ryan away from Alex.

"Calm down man. She's not worth it."

"I'm out of here," he said hatefully, making a quick exit.

"Asshole," Alex muttered before turning to Marissa. "You okay?"

"I'm fine. You didn't have to do that."

"Oh come on. He was saying bad things to you."

"Can I talk to you in private?" Marissa said seriously.

"Okay, we can go to the beach if you want?"

"Good, let's go."

She dragged Alex out of the club and down to the beach.

"I'm I in some kind of trouble?" Alex asked nervously.

"No, I just need to talk to you about something."

"Okay good because I was worried that you were gonna yell at me for getting in Ryan's face or something." She noticed the glare Marissa sent her. "But it was only because I was defending your honour," she whined.

The brunette's expression softened. "I appreciate it. Let's sit down."

"Sure."

Alex sat down close to Marissa.

"What's up?"

"I need to tell you what happened when you were gone. With me I mean."

"Okay."

"When you left I convinced myself everything was fine and I got back with Ryan. I also went back to my old drinking habits and one night I was kinda drunk and I went to Ryan and we were…intimate."

Alex cringed. "You mean you had sex?"

"Yes, I mean no…It depends."

"Okay, I'm confused."

"Well it's just that sex with a girl is different than sex with a guy and I had sex with him in a girl way if you know what I mean?" Marissa breathed out uncomfortably.

"I get it."

"We never got further because I passed out, but I'm glad we didn't. We kinda went downhill after that because I regretted it and it made me realize how much I wanted him to be you."

"Okay, so there's Ryan and drinking…What else?" Alex asked softly, trying not to sound harsh and show her disappointment.

"Well, there's Trey."

"Who's Trey?"

"Ryan's brother."

"What about him?"

Alex was almost afraid to ask and even more scared of the answer.

"He got out of prison right after you left and one night we were at the beach, him and me, and we were, at least he was, kinda drunk."

Alex felt her heart sink and tried to prepare herself for what was to come. It was bad enough that she had done things with Ryan, but his brother too?

"He tried to…He tried to force himself upon me."

"What, like he tried to rape you?"

"Yeah."

"But he didn't right? I mean did he-"

"No, I got away…I haven't told anyone, you're the first."

Alex felt her heart breaking and her chest tighten.

"God Riss, I'm so sorry. I wish I could have been here and protected you."

She quickly moved so Marissa was sitting between her legs and wrapped her arms tightly around the other girl.

"You can't tell anyone," Marissa whispered at the verge of tears.

"I won't I promise. I just wish I could have been here for you. I really, really want to break his neck right now."

"He's gone and you're here so everything is fine…Do you still love me?" Marissa asked, her voice shaky.

"Of course I do. I'll love you forever and ever, no matter what."

There was a short silence between the two of them.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you right now." Marissa whispered.

"Me too."

Slowly Marissa turned around so she was facing Alex. She looked deep into her eyes for a while before she slowly leaned closer. She stopped right before she was about to connect their lips.

"I love you," She said softly before finally letting her lips move over the blonde's.

Both women let out a content sigh when their lips touched for the first time in too long after their opinion. It was slow and gentle, just lips pressing lovingly against each other. After minutes of this they slowly pulled away and locked eyes.

"It's late, we should probably get you home." Alex said in barely a whisper, never breaking eye contact with the brunette.

"You're right. Will you stay with me? I could really need someone to hold me."

"Of course. It would be my pleasure." Alex said sweetly.

"I missed you," Marissa said softly.

"I missed you too."

----------


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Not sure what I thought of this chapter, but…here it is anyway. So enjoy!

----------

Marissa awoke to someone pressed tightly against her back with their arm around her waist. For a second she panicked thinking she had been drunk and that it was Ryan or some stranger, but then she remembered all about Alex and relaxed, letting a happy sigh move past her lips.

This made Alex stir and she subconsciously nuzzled into Marissa's neck before placing a soft kiss there. "Morning," she whispered, refusing to pull away or open her eyes.

"Hey stranger." Marissa whispered back, smiling.

"What, I'm a stranger now? That's fine. I guess I'll have to leave then." Alex shot back, pretending to start moving away from the brunette, but Marissa quickly turned around and pulled her back, giving Alex a soft peck on the lips.

"I'll try again. I promise I can do better."

"Mhmm."

"Morning." She gave the blonde another peck.

"And what a beautiful morning it is. The sun is shining, it's not school and I'm lying in bed with the most sexy and amazing girl I've ever met."

Marissa giggled. "You're such a sweet talker."

"Only for you. Besides, you like it."

"I do."

"As much as I would love to stay here, I'm hungry. I was thinking of having breakfast for once. Got anything to feed me?"

"Sure. We can just go down to the kitchen and see what I've got."

"Sounds good," Alex answered, tightening her grip around the brunette again.

"In order to get food we would actually have to get up." Marissa giggled.

"In a minute."

"Marissa I'm going to-" Julie stopped dead in her tracks when she saw Alex and Marissa lying very close on the bed, snuggling.

"Mom, knocking."

Julie ignored her daughter and turned her attention to Alex.

"What are you doing here?"

"I've moved back. At least very soon. My life just wasn't the same without you and our lovely conversations."

"What conversations?" Marissa asked confused.

Julie just brushed it off. "I'm going to work. It's an emergency."

"Okay mom. Alex and I will grab something to eat and go out. Or just stay here, we haven't decided yet."

"Aha, I'll be home as soon as I can."

"Oh don't stress. It makes your wrinkles grow faster. Take all the time you need."

Julie huffed and turned to walk away.

"It was nice seeing you again, Mrs. Cooper-Nichol." Alex yelled after her.

They both started laughing, but was stopped by Alex' phone ringing.

"This is Alex."

"Hi honey."

"Mom?" Alex held the phone away and covered the speaker. "Fuck."

"What?" Marissa said worried.

"Dad told me I had to make up a reason that wasn't you as to why I'm staying here. What am I supposed to say?"

"Tell her you got a better job offer or something."

She put the phone back to her ear. "Mom?" Yeah, sorry about that. No I do want to talk to you. I'm moving back here. I know, but I got a better job offer. Yeah okay. Fine, I promise I'll go to school. I'll talk to you later. Bye."

She shut her phone and Marissa started laughing.

"What?"

"When did you ever listen to anyone? And school?"

"I know, I know. The things I do for you."

"Aww, you're so sweet. Mama's little baby."

"If you don't stop, I'll-"

"You'll do what? You wouldn't hurt me would you?" Marissa asked with puppy eyes and a pout.

"Fine, you win. Make fun of me as much as you want, just feed me something."

"Fine. You're such a whiner." She got up.

"Am not.

"Am too."

"Well, at least I'm not a brat like you."

Marissa froze. Alex was right, she was a brat, and she had always been. She never took responsibilities for her actions and she always felt sorry for herself.

Alex saw the expression Marissa got and jumped of the bed.

"Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."

"No, it's fine," Marissa said as she turned to the blonde and smiled. "It's true though."

"But you're my brat. And a very nice and sexy brat too might I add. You're perfect Riss, or at least as close as anyone can get, don't ever doubt that."

"You mean it?"

"Of course. I wouldn't say it if I didn't."

"Thanks. I really needed to hear that. Everything is just one big mess right now."

"Don't worry. You'll find a way through it."

"Hopefully. Let's go eat."

She dragged Alex with her down to the kitchen.

They met Caleb on his way out.

"Good morning Marissa."

"Morning Caleb." He noticed the blonde standing behind Marissa.

"Alex right? It's been awhile."

"Yeah, nice to see you again Mr. Nichol."

"Likewise. I'm heading for work so you girls have fun."

"Okay, bye," they both said.

"So what are we doing today?"

"I don't know. We could hang out on the beach and relax?" Alex suggested.

"Sounds good. Maybe I should call Summer and ask her if she want to join us?"

"Yeah, do that. Don't want her to feel left out. Besides, we didn't really get to know each other that well last time and she seems like a nice girl."

----------

An hour later Summer, Marissa and Alex were on the beach, mostly tanning, but talking lightly too.

"So girls, not to ruin the mood or anything, but I've talked to Seth and Ryan refuses to come out of his room. He's really angry and sad."

Alex laughed and received two very stern looks.

"What? He's a selfish, stupid, heated ass."

"Alex, stop it."

"But it's the truth, why can't you see it?"

"I want Ryan to be my friend and I want you two to try and get along."

Alex sighed.

"Marissa, I understand that you want to avoid hurting anyone, but this, you right now, is just plain naivety. Ryan likes you and I like you so guess what, we're not gonna get any closer than we are right now."

"So you're saying that you want to decide who I'm friends with?"

"No, I'm saying that Ryan won't look at you as just a friend even though he say he will and you need to get over this whole "Ryan is sweet and nice and innocent and a knight in shining armour" thing. Maybe he was before, but that's not who he is now and you need to open your eyes to that. Just ask Summer."

"Oh no, no, no. Don't bring me into this. I'm not gonna voice any opinion in this discussion."

"Come on Summer. Tell Marissa that Ryan isn't the guy he was when they were together." Alex looked pleadingly at the tiny brunette who sighed.

"Fine. You're right Alex, he has changed."

"See. So don't get mad at me for saying the truth. The last thing I want is to fight with you."

"Fine," Marissa said and got up.

"Where are you going?" Both girls asked.

"Home, I'm suddenly not in the mood for any beach. You and Summer can find something to do since you're becoming so close and all."

"Marissa, come on." Alex pleaded.

"I'll call you later," Marissa said as she walked off in a hurry.

Alex let herself fall down onto the sand.

"This is great," Alex said to the sky.

"Don't worry, she'll come around. Marissa just doesn't like being confronted, makes her feel attacked."

"Yeah, like Trey did." Alex said and then realized what she had let slip.

"Yeah, like Trey," Summer answered with a sigh, making Alex sit up.

"Wait, you know about him?"

"Well duh, I'm her best friend."

"But she told me no one else knew."

"Guess she forgot to mention that she told me." Summer said as she shrugged.

"Yeah, forgot," Alex whispered to herself.

----------


	6. Chapter 6

Marissa didn't feel like being in her house so she decided she should go see Ryan and talk about things. What Alex said was really upsetting, but in some ways she knew it might be true and that worried her even more.

She knocked on the pool house door and waited for an answer.

"Give up Seth, I'm not coming out."

"It's Marissa. Can we talk?"

She heard movements and a few seconds later, Ryan let her in.

"Hi," Marissa said nervously.

"Hey."

An uncomfortable and awkward silence followed.

"I just wanted to explain to you why I broke up with you I guess," Marissa finally said.

"Because of Alex," Ryan stated.

"No Ryan. We weren't working even before she came back. So much has happened in our lives and I realized that I didn't have those kinds of feelings for you anymore. I will always love you and you will always be special to me, but I don't think I can ever be IN love with you. We are too different now, we've changed."

Ryan sighed. "You're probably right. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting. Guess it was my ego freaking out because you're dumping me for a girl."

"I wasn't dumping you for a girl. I broke up with you because it didn't work out anymore. I honestly don't really understand how I could fall for a girl, but I did and it has nothing to do with you. Alex is just special and we hit it off. I mean, I've never had feelings for any other girls and I still don't look at girls even though I'm with one."

"So you guys are back together?" Ryan tried his best to hide his anger.

"Yes, no, well sort of. It's complicated. I just want to apologize if I've hurt you, but I think this is for the best. For both of us."

Ryan looked at her and faked a smile. "Yeah of course."

"We can still be friends right?"

"Yeah, friends."

Awkwardness followed again.

"Okay, well I'll leave you to do whatever you're doing."

"Yeah, I'll see you at school."

"Okay, bye."

Marissa hurried out. God, could it be any more awkward and embarrassing? I'll just go home, get some sleep and then call Alex to apologize for running away from her.

----------

Alex' cell phone was ringing.

"Hello."

"Hey Alex, it's Seth."

"Seth! Why are you calling me?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing, why you are back. Why are you back? Is it because of Marissa? Because Marissa has been here and talked to Ryan today and-"

"What did you say?" Alex said in disbelief. "There as in today, not yesterday or the day before?"

"Ops, was that something I shouldn't have said?"

"No, it's fine. I'm fine Seth and I'm just here to see how everyone is doing, how Marissa is doing, but she seems to be the same," Alex said with sarcasm in her voice.

"Okay well-"

"Hey Seth, I have something I need to do that's kinda in a rush, but I'll talk to ya later or something, Bye." Alex shut the phone before Seth had time to reply and sighed.

"I guess things haven't changed," she said to herself with sadness.

"What haven't changed?" Summer said as she walked into the room.

"Oh nothing."

"Is that why you look like someone just died?"

Alex felt like she needed to talk to someone and decided she'd give Summer a try.

"Marissa is lying again."

"What, you mean with you being the only one to know about Trey?"

"Yeah, and that she said she was gonna go home, but has been with Ryan."

"No way," Summer said equally as shocked as Alex, feeling sympathy for her.

"So it's right back to where we left of even though she told me it would be different."

"But you don't know what she was doing there right?"

"No, but she lied and if I can't trust her than I can't be in this relationship. She already broke my heart once, I can't go through that again."

"I'm sorry." Summer didn't know what else to say.

"Thanks. I'd like to be left alone please. And if Marissa shows up, tell her I'm not here or that I don't want to talk to her, just say something."

"Okay, if you're sure."

----------

Marissa had tried calling Alex all afternoon, but she didn't answer and the brunette was getting worried so she decided to just take the car and go visit Summer's house.

----------

Summer opened the door, to find a sad Marissa.

"Hey are you okay?"

"Yeah, can I talk to Alex? I want to apologize to her." Summer looked angry at her and Marissa couldn't understand why.

"Really. For what? How you acted on the beach or the fact that you've been lying to her again?"

"What?" Marissa asked puzzled.

"First of all you told her that nobody knew about Trey and she knows I do. Second, you said you'd be going home, but Seth called to talk to Alex and he accidentally told her that you had been with Ryan."

"Shit."

"Yeah, you could say that." Summer spat, still trying to sound angry, but failing when she saw how miserable the brunette looked.

"I have to talk to her." Marissa tried to walk in, but was stopped by Summer.

"She kinda said she didn't want to talk to you."

"And you'll listen to her? I'm your best friend Sum."

"Yes and that's why I'm telling you that you're doing a fine job of fucking this up before it even gets a chance to really start."

"I know, but I can explain it, I just have to see her."

Summer sighed. "Fine. She has the guest room next to my place."

"Thanks."

----------

Marissa carefully knocked on the door.

"I just wanna be alone." She heard through the door.

"Alex, it's me." There was a few seconds of silence before Alex spoke again.

"I still wanna be alone."

"Can I at least talk to you and explain?" Marissa pleaded.

"Fine, talk."

"Face to face?"

A few moments went by before the door slowly opened to reveal a very sad looking Alex with a hint of red eyes. Marissa knew she'd been crying and immediately felt really bad.

She reached out to touch Alex's cheek, but her hand was pushed away and Alex sat down on the bed, leaving Marissa to stand by the door. She sighed.

"Come on Alex, don't be like this. I love you."

"And I love you too, but you've made your choice. You were afraid of hurting Ryan so now you're hurting me instead. I really want us to try again, but I can't do it if you're gonna go running to him all the time. It's one of the reasons we broke up in the first place. I can't be here always wondering if Ryan is gonna do something or if the feelings you have for him will return and then you'll leave me again. I just can't. Then I'll rather go back home to my parents. At least there I can cry, be heart broken and try to fool myself to believe I don't love you without having to see you two together."

Marissa was surprised, but glad at this revelation. At least it meant she wasn't the only one that had been hurting for the past months. She felt how tears were pushing, trying to get out, but tried to blink them away.

"Alex, you need to show me some trust here. I broke up with him remember? And I love you. I've been feeling like hell the past two months because I realized you're the one I want and still you can't trust me? I know that I hurt you, but right now you're overreacting and you're being a little selfish too. I'm giving you everything I can and have, the whole me and still you don't trust me?"

Alex took a deep breath.

"Alex, look at me." The blonde reluctantly locked eyes with Marissa. "Do you trust me?"

Alex didn't answer. "Do you trust me?" Marissa felt tears rolling slowly down her cheeks. She couldn't believe this was happening and she felt it getting harder to breathe.

"I trust you," Alex finally said and silence followed. Felling relieved Marissa dried her tears and calmed down, before slowly making her way over to the blonde, sitting down next to her.

She nervously started playing with one of Alex' hands while she tried to decide whether or not to tell Alex about Ryan. She settled with telling Alex now instead of risking Alex believing she was lying to her.

"Ryan wants us to be friends." Alex opened her mouth to say something, but was cut of by Marissa. "And I know you think he's an ass and all, but I want to give him a chance and so should you. He has done nothing that says he doesn't deserve it. Just trust me when I say that I will never leave you okay?"

Alex thought about it for a moment.

"On one condition."

"What?"

"I don't want you to put him before me. I don't trust him and I still believe he could do something to try and keep us away from each other, like wanting to spend a lot of time with you, and I don't want you to agree to that. We need time together if it's going to work."

"But that doesn't count if he's in trouble right?"

"Right, just don't tell him that or he'll find himself trouble."

"You seriously need to stop being so negative."

"I'm just shielding myself from getting hurt again that's all."

"Fine, I understand. Now can I make it up to you?"

"How?"

Marissa leaned over and kissed Alex firmly, letting her tongue run over the blonde's bottom lip almost immediately. Alex answered the kiss and kissed back equally as fiercely. They let their tongues explore each others mouths for a while before pulling away to get air.

"I missed you today," Marissa said sincerely to the blonde and Alex smiled.

----------


	7. Chapter 7

Toxic relations – I didn't intend to make it like that, but I guess it's just what came out because I'm so frustrated with Marissa these days. In my opinion she kinda does play with peoples emotions because she doesn't know what she wants for herself. But I don't know. My view of Marissa changes with the mood I'm in and we all look at each character differently. That's why we get so many different fictions…

I'm so sorry for the long waiting, but I've been really busy and kinda out of ideas so it was kinda put to the back of my head. I'll try to do better, but school is so demanding right now and I'm almost going insane. Hope you all like this. It probably sucks, but it's what I had at the moment. I promise I'm writing on the next chapter right now and I'll hopefully have it up tomorrow or the day after.

-----

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Marissa asked softly.

"I have to check out this apartment that my dad has set me up with and then I have to go to The Bait Shop to ask for my job back."

"Guess you're busy then."

"Yeah, but I'll see you at school on Monday and I can call you tomorrow?"

"Sounds good."

"Great. So what do you wanna do now? Movie and snuggling?"

"Sure."

"Okay. Should we ask Summer if she wants to join?"

Both looked at each other and in silence agreed to keep her out of it.

-----

_Monday_

Alex slowly pulled up in front of the school and took a deep breath as she parked her car. The apartment had been great and The Bait Shop had been happy to get her back so everything was going her way. She was still nervous as hell today because school meant Marissa and Ryan, something she was sure she couldn't handle. It would be awkwardness and glares and what not. Maybe she should ditch the whole ting? That way she could avoid Ryan for as long as possible.

Her thought were broken when she heard a tap on the window and saw Summer looking weirdly at her.

Quickly she got out and locked the car.

"What were you doing?"

"Good morning to you too Summer."

"Hi Alex, answer me."

"I was just thinking."

"About?"

"Marissa…and Ryan."

"You gotta stop doing that. I thought you guys made up on Saturday?"

"We did, I just don't want to face angry glances and awkwardness when I meet him."

"Ryan can be like that, but don't let him get to you. Oh look, it's Marissa, let's go."

The tiny brunette took a hold of Alex' arm and dragged her along before the blonde could do or say anything.

As soon as Marissa saw Alex, she smiled and got one in return.

"First day at school, are you nervous?"

"Yeah, but not because of the school itself."

"Oh get over it Alex," Summer said annoyed.

"What?" Marissa asked as she looked between Summer and Alex.

"It's nothing," Alex said as she looked away and saw Ryan and Seth coming closer.

"Um, I have to go. I'll talk to you guys later," Alex quickly said as she started walking away. She really didn't wanna start a fight the first day at school and seeing Ryan was like putting gas on a starting fire. She just wanted to kick his ass back to Chino.

"What's wrong?" Marissa asked, having jogged after Alex.

"Nothing, I just need to get settled that's all."

"Stop lying to me Alex," Marissa said and Alex stopped to look at her, surprised by the stern voice the brunette had used.

"I wasn't lying, I need to get settled in," she tried.

"Fair enough, and the other thing, the one that's making you run away?"

"I wasn't running."

"Alex."

The blonde sighed. "Fine, I didn't wanna be near Ryan. Happy."

"Why can't you just try?"

"Because seeing him from just fifty feet away makes me wanna hurt him and I'm not interested in looking at him looking at you."

This made Marissa sigh.

"I know, I know," Alex said, getting irritated. "You're just friends, blah, blah."

"Don't be like this."

"Don't worry, I'm not gonna be like anything. I'll just be gone. Bye," Alex shot back angrily and stomped off leaving a stunned brunette.

-----

It was lunch time and Alex had managed to avoid Marissa, which she was now regretting since she had calmed down and realized she was overreacting. After all, Marissa was with her so it wasn't Marissa's fault Ryan was drooling over her. She knew she had to trust Marissa when she said nothing would happen or else the relationship would never work. She just didn't want to get hurt again.

The blonde was one of the first people to the cafeteria as she waited to see Marissa come in so she could apologize. When she saw her she smiled and started walking over. Her smile disappeared though when she saw Ryan tailing after her with Summer and Seth. She were about to turn and run again, but convinced herself to just go over. She would just have to deal with her problems with Ryan…For Marissa's sake.

When Marissa saw Alex making her way towards her she smiled, but it was a smile of uncertainty and fear. Alex saw it and instantly felt even more horrible than she had and she tried to give the brunette a reassuring smile. She stopped nervously in front of Marissa as she kept her eyes firmly on her girlfriend's in fear of backing out if she looked away.

"Hi," Marissa said in a low, uncertain voice.

"Hi," Alex answered back just as nervous. "Can I talk to you? I need to apologize for earlier."

"Sure," the brunette replied and looked over at the three people behind her that were closely following the conversation. "Let's go somewhere more private," Marissa added and took the blonde's hand to lead her away.

As they walked past the other's Alex saw Ryan stare at her and she smiled innocently at him. This could be so much fun if she just didn't let him get to her.

When the two girls stopped, Marissa turned to Alex and looked at her expectantly. The blonde shifted her weight from one foot to another in nervousness and then opened her mouth to speak. "I'm s-" she started, but was cut of by the brunette.

"I don't need an apology, I just need to know why you acted like that."

"I don't know," Alex answered ashamed.

"I need to know if this is how it's gonna be every time Ryan is around or mentioned for that matter because-"

"It won't. It was stupid of me to react like that. I trust you Marissa so it doesn't matter what he thinks or do, I just…" Alex said quickly before taking a deep breath.

"You just what?"

"I don't know. I've never been one to be jealous, but you just bring it out of me because you mean so much to me and I-"

"You mean a lot to me too Alex. And I promise you that I won't hurt you like that again."

"I know, that's why I realized I was being stupid. Can you please forgive me?"

Marissa looked into the blonde's pleading, beautiful eyes and smiled inwardly. She had already forgiven Alex the moment she saw her in the cafeteria, but she didn't want to tell the blonde that. It would be too much of a boost on her ego that Marissa couldn't stay mad at her.

Marissa smiled at her girlfriend. "Of course I forgive you."

Alex sighed in relief and stepped forward, taking the brunette into a tight hug.

"I'm sorry," she whispered into Marissa's neck.

"Don't be. Just talk to me about how you feel instead of running away."

They pulled away and smiled at each other before taking each other's hand and walking back to the cafeteria to eat lunch.

-----

Alex and Marissa sat down together at the opposite side of the others and smiled sweetly at each other. The others saw it.

"So you're fine?" Summer asked.

"Of course they are," Seth said with a dirty smile. "Can't you see they wish to engage in a make out session right about now?"

"You wish," Alex said as she threw some bread at him, making everyone except Ryan laugh.

"So how is life going for you Ryan?" Alex asked with a smirk and she felt Marissa tug warningly at her hand under the table.

"Fine, I guess," he mumbled, staring at her. Neither one of them looked away from the other's glare.

"Yeah? Did anything interesting happen when I was gone?"

Silence followed as the two continued to stare and Alex knew Ryan wanted to rub his time with Marissa in her face, but she also knew he couldn't do it in front of the brunette.

Seth cleared his throat, trying to get the two rival's attention, but was unsuccessful.

"Alex?" Marissa said and the blonde reluctantly moved her gaze away from Ryan.

"Yeah?"

Again silence as Marissa didn't really know what to say. She understood why Alex was like this, but it wasn't fair to Ryan.

"Classes are starting soon so we should probably get going," Seth said as he pushed lightly on Ryan to make him stand up.

Together with Summer he gave Ryan a push as they took off, leaving the couple alone.

"Alex," Marissa said with a sigh.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'll talk to him later and tell him I want us to try and be friends."

"Only if you mean it. I don't want you to do this just for me."

"Of course it's just for you. He's never done anything good so why should I want to befriend him?"

Marissa sighed. Alex could be so stubborn at times.

"Okay, look at it this way," the brunette said softly. "You like me for who I am right?"

"And the point?"

"If it wasn't for Ryan, I wouldn't be who I am today."

The blonde thought about it for a moment and then sighed.

"You're so frustrating when you're right."

"And you're so cute when you're stubborn."

"God, what do you do to me?" Alex said as she stood up and reached out her hand.

"I don't know, but it looks like you're enjoying it," Marissa replied smugly, making the blonde laugh and shake her head as they started making their way to classes.

-----


	8. Chapter 8

Alex saw Ryan standing alone by his locker and took a deep breath before making her way over.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" she asked carefully.

"About what?" he said without any emotion in his voice.

"Look, I know we haven't ever really gotten along, but Marissa means a lot to me and you mean a lot to Marissa so I was hoping we could just calm down and at least try to be civil with each other?"

"And by civil you mean?"

"Stop with the hateful glares, speak to each other normally and not try to agitate the other with sly comments. Who knows, we might just get along?" Alex replied, but in her mind finding it very hard to believe.

Apparently so did Ryan because he gave her a doubtful gaze.

"Okay, so maybe never really get along, but I don't want to fight with you Ryan because it would make Marissa unhappy and I don't want her to be. So what do you say?"

Ryan thought about it for a moment.

"I agree," was the only thing he said before closing his locker and walking away.

-----

Seth walked over to Alex, having seen the two rivals talk.

"What did you guys talk about?"

"Doing a three-way with Marissa," Alex replied.

"Really? Can I join?" Seth said in a high pitched tone, making Alex roll her eyes.

"Grow up Seth."

"Okay, I'm serious now. What was it?"

"We agreed not to fight for Marissa's sake."

"That's great. We can be the fantastic five instead of four. One more team member has never hurt."

"The only thing I'm joining is the fantastic two, me and Marissa." Alex said clearly irritated.

"You should make that three because all girls need a man."

Alex raised her eye brows at him.

"I mean all women need a man."

Alex still just looked at him.

"All women need a boy?"

Alex shook her head and started to walk away.

"Oh come on Alex, lighten up a little, smile," he whined as he ran after her, but she shrugged him off.

"Think of Marissa," he said, making the blonde stop and look at him.

"You're gonna hit me now aren't you?" he said sounding like a scared eight year old..

Alex just smiled as she leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Okay, what's going on?" the boy asked shocked.

"You're just so adorable Seth," Alex said before walking away to her last class of the day.

-----

As Alex walked out of the school building she saw Marissa already waiting by her car.

"Hey," the blonde said as she walked over.

"So what are we doing today?" Marissa asked with a huge smile.

"I don't know. We could go home to mine so you can check out the new apartment and then I have to work."

"Great. House checking and free drinks, sounds like a fun day."

Alex grinned.

"So, you ready to go?"

"Absolutely."

-----

Having spent two hours at Alex' new place, mainly making out after a quick tour, Marissa was now standing outside The Bait Shop waiting for Summer who would probably bring Seth and Ryan too.

Marissa smiled to the watcher as he let the group pass. She had only been away from Alex for two hours and already she had felt like she was gonna explode at the lack of the blonde. She wasn't used to feeling like this, she never thought she would, but she sure didn't mind it since she knew Alex wanted her just as much. Marissa made her way over to the bar where the blonde was serving customers, the other three people with her already forgotten.

"Hey," she said seductively as she leaned against the counter.

Alex smiled brightly at her as she passed a customer his glass.

"You made it."

"Like I would miss out on a chance to check you out while you're working," Marissa said playfully and Alex laughed. Their attention was diverted as Ryan, Seth and Summer came up beside them.

"How about some free drinks?" Seth said trying to sound manly.

"Do you have ID?" the blonde replied seriously.

"What? Alex, come on." The boy pleaded, but Alex just shook her head.

"You and alcohol don't mix Seth, I've experienced it. You can get a coke if you want?"

"Fine," he said with a pout.

"Okay, what can I get you guys?" she asked as she looked at Ryan and Summer.

"We'll just take the same as Seth," Ryan replied.

"Okay, three cokes coming up."

Marissa looked at Alex as she retrieved the three cokes. When she gave them to the other's she shoed them away so she could get some alone time with the beautiful brunette in front of her.

"So what can I get you miss?" she said seductively to Marissa as they locked eyes.

Marissa started blushing at the intensity of the gaze.

"Um, a coke and a kiss would be fine."

"I'm not sure we serve that here," the blonde shot back with a smile.

"Well, I guess I'm gonna have to try another place then," Marissa said smugly as she started to move away only to be drawn back by a hand on her arm.

"On second thought, I think we started serving that today," Alex said before leaning over the counter and giving the brunette a soft kiss on the lips.

Marissa pouted when Alex pulled away.

"That's not a kiss."

"Don't worry, you'll get more when I'm done here," the blonde replied as she retrieved the brunette's coke.

"I'm holding you to it," Marissa said before winking at Alex as she walked off to find the others.

-----

Alex turned of the lights in her office and walked out of it with a sigh.

"I am so wiped," she said as she walked over to the brunette that was waiting for her.

"No wonder you are when it's two in the morning."

"I know, but you didn't have to wait for me. You should have gone home and gone to bed, it's school tomorrow."

"I wanted to wait. You owe me lots of kisses remember?" Marissa said playfully as Alex walked closer to her.

"That I do," the blonde agreed before leaning over to give her a short kiss. Alex smiled when she felt Marissa pull her closer by the neck and started kissing her more forcefully. Alex moaned when she felt Marissa's tongue run over her bottom lip and opened her mouth so she could meet the brunette's tongue with her own. When their tongues met, the blonde heard Marissa moan and she smiled to herself.

They broke away from each other, both breathing heavily.

"Wow," Alex said as her piercing, clear eyes moved from Marissa's eyes to her lips and back to her eyes.

"I really think you should lock up here so we can go to your apartment," the brunette said with a wink and Alex laughed.

"Good idea," she replied before taking Marissa's hand, guiding her to the exit.

-----

Alex and Marissa stumbled through the door to Alex' apartment and laughed as they broke away from the kiss before moving in to kiss each other again. The brunette's arm reached out behind her in search of the door. When she found it, she pushed it so it closed itself.

Alex stopped the kiss when the door was shut with a bang and looked at Marissa, both panting.

"What?" the brunette asked when Alex just stood there, studying her.

"I just need to know how far you want to go because I don't think I'm ready to…you know," the blonde said nervously.

"Don't worry, making out is good." Marissa replied with a smile at how cute Alex was.

"Making out is very good," the blonde said relieved as she took a hold of the brunette's waist and started pushing her in the direction of the sofa.

Marissa giggled when she fell down on it with Alex on top of her. Seconds later they were kissing again.

About an hour later, the two girls were cuddled up on the sofa together.

"We have to go to school in like four hours or something," Marissa said.

"I know and I'm so tired."

"We should probably get to bed," the brunette said with a soft giggle.

"Probably," Alex replied as she yawned.

Ten minutes later both girls crashed down on the bed and were asleep instantly.


	9. Chapter 9

**OC BeachBabe: **Don't worry, Ryan will bring problems. But you know how Marissa is. One moment she's very sure of what she wants and the next she's not sure anymore. She changes all the time and right now she's sure she only cares about Alex, but it won't be for long.

AN: It's been a really long time since I updated (or since I've posted anything on fanfiction) but I'm hoping to get some time to do it more often. Here's a short update if anyone is still remembering this story.

-----

Alex squinted her eyes with a groan. Looking over at the watch on her night stand she shot up.

"Oh shit," she said loudly, waking Marissa in the process.

"What?" the brunette said hoarsely.

"We are so late," the blonde replied as she got up from the bed and started looking for clothes she could wear.

"What time is it?" Marissa asked as she stretched and sat up, admiring Alex' forms as she stressed around in the room.

"It's too late. If we hurry we can make the class after lunch," Alex said as she walked out of the room.

Marissa looked over at the clock and shot out of bed too.

"Shit," she said as she hurried out after Alex.

The two girls reached the school just as the clock rang signalizing that the lunch was over and they quickly parted ways.

Marissa barely managed to get to class before the teacher did and she sat down breathlessly next to Summer.

"Coop, where have you been?" the tiny brunette said in a whisper.

"We overslept," she replied.

"We? As in you and Alex?"

"Um, yeah," Marissa replied, realizing the mistake she'd made by saying that.

"What happened, you have to tell me," Summer almost squealed and the other brunette tried to sink down in her chair.

"Nothing happened," she hissed at Summer.

"Something must have happened. Come on, tell me."

"Seriously Sum, it's nothing. Pay attention to the class."

The tiny brunette turned her attention to the teacher with a pout and Marissa let out a relieved sigh.

-----

In another room Alex was sitting being interrogated by Seth.

"Why were you late?"

"It's none of your business."

"Is it because of Marissa? Because you know I'll find out from Summer if Marissa was here today or not and then I'll know you were together."

"Fine, we were together. We overslept."

"You mean she spent the night with you?" Seth said surprised and got a dreamy look on his face.

"You're such a perv Seth," the blonde said as she fought the urge to smack him, knowing it would draw the teacher's attention.

"What did you do?"

"We slept."

"As in together? I want details."

"Seth, seriously," Alex hissed angrily at him. "We slept in the same bed because we were both exhausted. We didn't do anything."

The boy's dreamy look disappeared and was replaced with a pout.

"Nothing, not even some hot kissing?"

"Well, I'm not gonna lie to you," Alex said as she leaned back in her chair with a sly smile, making Seth sure that she was thinking back to what had occurred.

"That is so hot," he said out loud and everyone turned his attention to him.

"Well, I'm glad you find it interesting," the teacher said before going back to the equation he was solving on the board. The geeky boy turned a deep shade of red and stuck his nose inside one of his books to hide from all the stares. He could see Alex laughing silently beside him.

-----

Alex walked in to her last class of the day and groaned inwardly when she saw the only empty seat was beside Ryan. She did not have enough energy to play nice with him today.

"Hi," she said as she sat down next to him and made sure she actually listened to the teacher so she wouldn't have to talk to Ryan.

The blonde walked out of the class in deep thought. She'd been assigned to do a pair work with Ryan and they only had a week to do it. And she was so tired and knew she still had to work at The Bait Shop tonight and every other night too. The way things looked right now she would only have time for school work and her job and she hated that. It meant no time with Marissa and that was maybe the most important thing for her to get her through the day.

She was pulled out of her self pitying session by someone hugging her from behind.

"What's up with you?" a voice she immediately recognized said softly and she smiled as she turned around.

"I'm just tired and have lots of stuff to do."

"Like what?"

"Homework and my job. It just doesn't look good for our alone time this week."

"Oh," Marissa said as her smile faltered some.

"I know and I'm sorry. I hate it too, but I have to do it or else I'll either fail school or loose my job and I need the money."

"It's okay I guess," the brunette replied sadly.

"But we still see each other at school and I promise I'll spend the weekend with you," the blonde said to try and ease the tension.

"Yeah, I know," Marissa said, feeling guilty for the way she acted. It wasn't Alex' fault she had so much to do. After all she moved back here just for Marissa and she knew Alex would do anything for her.

"I have to go, but I'll call you tonight or maybe you wanna come by The Bait Shop, okay?"

"Okay, sounds good," the brunette replied as she gave Alex a kiss on the cheek and watched the blonde hurry away to her car.

-----

"Hey Marissa," came a dark voice that she knew all too well.

"Hey Ryan, what's up?"

"Nothing special, I was just wondering what your plans for the evening was."

"Um, I'm not sure, but I was thinking of going to The Bait Shop."

"Sounds great. Mind if I join you?"

"No it's fine I guess," she said with a shrug.

"Great, when are you going?"

"Around 8 I think."

"Okay, I'll meet you there then," he said with a smile.

"Yeah, sure," she said absentmindedly as she saw Alex' car drive away and Summer waving for her to get her ass moving.

-----


End file.
